The Pseudo-spiritual

When Healing Becomes a Hashtag

There’s a trend happening.

Maybe you’ve noticed it too.

Spirituality is having a moment — she’s on mugs and mantras, dripping in crystals, and hashtagged with love and light. And don’t get me wrong, it’s beautiful that more people are awakening. But I’ve also felt the ache of something missing beneath the aesthetic. Because real healing… doesn’t look like a sunrise yoga selfie. And awakening? It doesn’t feel like floating through bliss on a unicorn.

It feels like death. Rebirth. Then death again.

Real healing is not cute. It’s not easy. And it definitely isn’t tidy.

It drags up grief that’s been buried for decades. It confronts you with generational wounds you thought weren’t yours to carry. It brings illness, confusion, rawness. Shadow. You begin to question your entire sense of self — not in a poetic, meditative way, but in a crying-on-the-kitchen-floor kind of way.

Healing didn’t make me feel enlightened.

It made me feel lost. Raw. Like an absolute mental person that needed locking up.

There were nights I was convinced I’d crossed a line I couldn’t come back from. Crying. Screaming. Feeling completely detached from the world — because suddenly, you see it. You realise it’s a matrix. You start piecing together the lies, the loops, the manipulations. The things you once called conspiracy… now feel like reality. And that’s a whole other layer of awakening nobody warns you about.

And there’s this moment.

This moment where you consciously step over the line.

The line of what everyone else thinks.

The line that says, “You’ll sound mad if you say this out loud.”

And you whisper — or scream — “So be it.”

If I’m going to be strapped into the white coats, then fine.

Because this feels more real than what I’ve been living.

It’s lonely.

Then it’s beautiful.

Then it’s infuriating.

You just want a day off.

Then it’s magical again.

And you weep with awe.

Your gifts get louder. You think you're cracking open into something divine.

Then they disappear.

And you think you’re crazy again — until they return.

You keep an eye on astrology, solar flares, collective energy forecasts, anything that makes you feel less alone. You don’t watch the news. You’re not in the game anymore. You’re flying blind through a world that feels increasingly manufactured… and all you see now are lessons. Mirrors. Patterns. Cycles you refuse to repeat.

And still, somehow —

You find beauty in everything.

Meanwhile, online — everyone’s a starseed.

Everyone’s manifesting.

Everyone’s healed after reading The Secret.

And I say this with love…

But that’s not the work.

The work isn’t about bypassing pain with a pretty quote.

It’s about sitting with your triggers until you hear what they’re really saying.

It’s not about posting your latest “downloads” —

It’s about what you do when no one’s watching.

Spirituality isn’t a title you wear, it’s a truth you live.

And it’s not always flattering.

Spiritual Integrity is an Inside Job

Real embodiment looks like:

Choosing truth over popularity.

Being willing to look ‘less spiritual’ while becoming more whole.

Owning your shit without spiritualizing it away.

Walking through your fears barefoot and alone.

Saying no when it would be easier to say yes.

It means staying when it’s hard. Leaving when it’s easier to numb.

Being humbled by the universe. And choosing to rise anyway.

If You’re Here… You’re Not Alone

If you’ve felt like you’re spiraling, losing your mind, floating between dimensions, crying in your bathroom with your phone on airplane mode — you’re not broken. You’re not behind. You’re not making it up.

You’re just awakening for real.

And real awakening is chaos before clarity.

So no, you haven’t failed because you still get triggered.

You haven’t failed because you feel rage, or grief, or ego, or emptiness.

You’ve stepped off the path of performative light —

And into the raw terrain of becoming.

And if you’re flying blind some days, welcome.

I see you. I’ve been there. I’m still there, sometimes.

But this is where the real magic lives.

In the mess. In the mirrors. In the moment you don’t give up.

So let them have their hashtags.

We’ll be over here doing the work.